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Academic prostitution

The moment our naive little child minds can wrap themselves around the concept of prostitution and sexual “looseness”, a deep sense of shame, loathing, and guilt are ingrained into our consciences by prude, overprotective adults. Have sex, get STD’s, you die. That’s all there is to it. To avoid a painful and humiliating death, all you young girls out there must keep your legs shut, and boys should keep their exploding libido’s in check. Whores = bad. Bad bad bad.

Twelve years later I find myself slowly realizing those same icky feelings of shame, loathing, and guilt are surfacing. Is it because I am wrapping my legs around multiple men? Hell no. I haven’t even kissed a man in God knows how long. So why the dark subconscious cloud?

I’ve realized that we’re all academic whores.

Follow me here. What do whores do?

A whore invests energy and time into satisfying the customer, the customer in return gives them money/other desired goods. There is a pre-contractual period of self-advertisement: through specific clothing and environment choices the whore scopes out potential customers and tries to sells him/herself as being the best at what he/she does, able to satisfy all of the customer’s needs and desires. There are certain niches of whore-dom, specific customer driven demand lines that are fulfilled with specialized production and supply. S&M, role playing, blondes/brunettes/bald, height, weight, you name a desired trait, someone out there will have it.

Now if you replace the word “whore” in the above description with the word “student” and “customer” with “school” and adjust the items, you get this:

A student invests energy and time into satisfying the school, the school in return gives them money/other desired goods. There is a pre-contractual period of self-advertisement: through specific clothing and environment choices the student scopes out potential school and tries to sells him/herself as being the best at what he/she does, able to satisfy all of the school’s needs and desires. There are certain niches of student-dom, specific school driven demand lines that are fulfilled with specialized production and supply. Math, writing, leadership, volunteering, job experience, you name a desired trait, someone out there will have it.

Resumes list off our work experience, laced with our capabilities in the hope that they would be enough to satisfy the employer with a skillful BJ. We whittle away years and years of our lives working on good grades and community service because they are things the schools get hot for. We study for standardized tests like they’re the kama sutra of sex positions. What are personal statements other then the selling of our desirable traits to schools in the hopes of acceptance?  We’re practically strutting around in tube tops and hooker heels hoping to get singled out of a group of thousands by our top choice schools, because we know (hope) they’ll pay out well in the end if we give them a good lay.

Our parents would be so proud.

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Posted by on November 20, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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