Tag Archives: insomnia

Writing, tea, and how to beat insomnia

Remember how way back when on my last post I talked about how busy I had become? Made excuses about not blogging because of how much stuff I do? Implied that the world around me would implode if I added anything else to my to-do list?

So I started NaNoWriMo again.

Only my second year taking on this daunting challenge, and I’m already behind. It makes me sort of glad the word count widget isn’t running yet, because then the whole internet could see just how much I’m not writing. I don’t know which one is more shameful: complaining about how busy one is and then adding more onto that pile, or voluntarily adding to the pile with things you end up not doing in the end.

All in a day's not-worked

But no! I refuse to sit down and be lazy! This novel will get written~! (And maybe even shared this time around. Who knows. I may find some bravery in me yet.)

If I schedule things correctly, I should be able to complete my grown-up-person obligations (school, work, teaching) and then somehow cram in enough time for the symptoms of my peter-pan-syndrome (dallying in novel writing and making rubber cement balls). Pumping myself full of caffeinated tea to fulfill this schedule can only bring positive consequences. And build character!

This brings me to a surprisingly obvious fact about insomnia I just learned: if you act busy enough to forget the fact you can’t sleep, it’s basically as if you tore down the walls that divide the week and have one huge 150 hour work day with an 18 hour sleep marathon at the end. You’ve ignored sleep for so long that it comes crawling back to you like a neglected spouse who just wants to cuddle. ¬†That, my friends, is productivity.

It is also why I need to buy a new tea pot and restock my Earl Grey. Donations will be accepted with a mad grin.

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Posted by on November 4, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Recycle Bin Empty

Those blissful days when everything is going. Not going well, not going badly, but simply going. Where the day moves by faster than nostalgia and somehow, in some fashion, you keep up. A glorious combination of physical exertion, mental wracking, philosophical theorizing, and bits and pieces of satisfaction for a job well done.

This is one of those days. A day where running on two hours of sleep is the most amazing high in the world, and everything falls into place last minute after hours of buzzing and preparation. The basic bodily needs of sleep, food, hydration, all of it flies out of the mind as the world goes by in a blur of jet stream to the outsider. But you, oh you, are inside the global jet. Neither tiring nor hungering, a steady and productive flow of outputs continues to spew out of the system until the sun is long gone and the day is still burned into the back of the eyes.

But, alas, slowly but surely tasks are being completed at a faster pace than can be replaced. Like emptying the trash every other day, eventually you’re so busy cleaning the bin that items get compartmentalized and thrown out even before they hit the bottom. Weariness sinks in, eyelids move on their own as a strange blurriness fills the vision. Muscles that didn’t exist before now begin their long and spiteful protest, and a strange coldness begins to creep into the fingertips. What used to take one minute now takes five, and what used to take five minutes now takes twenty. Productivity decreases at an alarming, exponential rate while you suddenly feel colder, hungrier, and more tired than you have ever felt in your life. Walking the ten steps to the door knocks the wind out of your very bones and the breath becomes shallow, the heart getting softer. Going to bed almost feels like a death sentence, as there is no guarantee that you will awake the next day from this coma. Literally every ounce of energy has been spent from this shell and it almost seems as if the surrounding colors fade, to perhaps lend some of their precious energy to this dragging corpse.

Today, was an amazing day.

— Another sleep-deprived excerpt from my journal. Mm.. yeah…. I don’t even know.


Posted by on February 17, 2011 in Uncategorized


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