Unlike the other days of the week, Monday has absolutely no redeeming qualities. It’s useless, bland, and life would be basically the same if not better had no one invented Monday. No one wants you, Monday. You’re like the white color pencil we give to the annoying kid in class because everyone else got the cool colors. Even brown is better than you. Stinkin, poop colored brown.
Wednesday? Hump day. The week is halfway over. You pat yourself on the back for making it through the 50% mark. And maybe hit up happy hour, just for kicks.
Thursday? It’s the day before Friday, the weekend. You only have one more day until freedom, and 80% done with the work week. That’s a B-, but it’s passing!
Friday? Pay day. Weekend. Enough said.
Saturday? You can sleep in, run errands, have afternoon tea and morning brunch (not that we do per se, but we can, and that’s all that matters).
Sunday? Church is pretty cool. You can’t sleep in but it’s still a weekend. More brunches and lounging? Yes, please.
Tuesday? It’s not Monday.
See what’s happening here? Monday is so bad, that simply not being Monday is considered a positive characteristic.
I’m not blaming Monday for existing, or saying that it should curse the day it was born and crawl back into oblivion. I’m not even telling it to come to grips with the fact that no one likes it and that fading from our lives completely would be the greatest thing to happen since my neighbors got unencrypted WiFi.
But I’m not saying it shouldn’t, either.