This is basically what my brain has been doing to me for the past week. You know those times when you fondly remember something because of some stimulus that spurred said memory? When your train of thought flowed nicely from one topic to another in a beautiful, crystal stream of rational thought?
Yep. Definitely not this week.
It’s like walking in the middle of a forest on a nice, bright, sunny day. Birds chirping in the air, cool breeze blowing, green leaves rustling and sunshine sparkling through the trees. All is at peace in the world, and there aren’t even any mosquitos to ruin it. When all of a sudden a bright blue Terminator comes crashing down onto the earth with a hailstorm of brimstone and fire and chucks Care Bears at your face while you pathetically attempt to dodge Squishy Hug attacks and end up falling backwards into a pit of high school despair filled with rainbow jello.
Here I am, minding my own business, when all of a sudden BOOM! I get smacked in the face with a sensory overload of OCTAMUTHAF*CKINGONAPUS! Where did it come from? I don’t know. I don’t even want to find out. All I know is that one moment I’m balancing my spreadsheet, and the next I’m literally spazzing out, arms flailing, and nearly falling backwards in my chair. The image is crisp, the sound is deafening, and for a moment I see nothing but poorly animated stupidity. (After which my coworkers just sort of stare at my poorly animated stupidity…)
But oh, this wasn’t the end. A day or two later, what does my brain do? It Russian rick rolls me. That’s right. I got rick rolled by my own mind. This is around the same time that I’m slammed in the face with RDJ’s “black” character from Tropic Thunder, saying “Never go full retard“.
Sorry Robert, guess it’s too late for that.
Then to add to the confusion, the next day I’m bombarded once more with the gauntlet scene from the Single Ladies music video. Not the entire sequence, just the segment where Beyonce whips out her weird metal… glove… thing and sparkles.
These moments aren’t just soft little memories either. Usually when you remember something it’s like elevator music: it’s there in the background and you’re consciously aware of it, but you can still hold a conversation and plan your day out (or tightly clutch your purse and step away from the black man).
No, these flashbacks of youtube videos are like diving headfirst into a moshpit; everything is everywhere and it is swarming around you until you can’t breathe or even think clearly.
Maybe I should cut back on the caffeine in the mornings. Or get more sleep. Yeah, that’s probably it.
Please let that be it.