Dearest, sweet Colorado,
I know we don’t always get along, and we have our little fights. When I had to go take my Chinese final somehow you ended up dumping two feet of snow that very morning to make my journey even harder. Not only that, the very next semester you bring blinding frost and sleet to my doorstep. In May. I know, I know, I may have said a few mean words to you those days, and I don’t always give you the attention you deserve, but you know I still care about you. You’re the bestest state I know, and I’ve lived in quite a few.
Even when you throw 80 mph gusts at me, I don’t mind too much. It gives me a chance to wear my favorite wind breaker, and it keeps those pesky mosquitoes away for most of the year. West Nile virus has yet to reach me, and I have you and your dryness to thank. Sure I have to buy a kajillion bottles of lotion and chapstick every year, but I consider that a small price to pay for our relationship. What’s a few dollars compared to your amazing mountains, laden with hiking trails and ski resorts. You always know how to put out when I need it most, and I appreciate that.
We haven’t always treated each other the best, but I’ve always gone out of my way to forgive you. Sometimes it’ll be that time of month for you again and you throw sunshine in the morning, rain in the afternoon, and sleet/snow in the evening. But you always bring back the sun in time for rush hour commute, and I appreciate the effort you put in to make me happy. It means the world to me, really.
But now you’re going too far. I don’t know if it’s something I did, or maybe we’ve just been together for too long, but you’ve let yourself go this year, and I don’t know if I like your new attitude. I know I’ve been gone a lot, but times change, Colorado, and you can’t just keep messing with the temperatures every time you’re angry at me. Just this summer you had a solid 90’s streak with sunshine for weeks, but the moment I come back you give me torrential floods and rain? My flight took an extra 4 hours that day, and I had really looked forward to seeing you again too. That hurt me deep, Colorado, I thought our relationship was more important than that.
You’re still my bestest state, Colorado, but this winter I just don’t see the commitment. Hell, you even forgot one of our favorite traditions together. Halloween is supposed to always be cold and frigid and keep the kids away from my house, but this year you didn’t even try; there were munchkins walking around everywhere because you just couldn’t bring yourself to be presentable. Look at Minnesota over there, it gave so much snow that the damn Metrodome roof collapsed on itself. That’s commitment. That’s putting in effort. You’ve only given a couple flurries here and there, and none of them even lasted more than an hour.
Even Florida is doing it better than you this year. Just today, parts of it were 20 degrees colder than us. Twenty degrees! How am I supposed to think that you’re serious about us when you let friggin Florida show you up? Are you trying to humiliate me on purpose? I’ve always been proud to have you, Colorado, but now I can’t even take you out to nice places, it’s so embarrassing the way you’ve just stopped caring. It’s like I don’t even matter.
Is it me? Have I done something horrible? You’re still giving a lot of snow in the mountains, so I know it’s not completely down the drain, but I’m worried about you, Colorado. It’s been so warm lately that my grass has yet to die, and my dog doesn’t even feel the need to grow a winter coat. It’s already the middle of December, and before the New Year I hope you shape up and get your act together again.
What we have together is special, and I’m trying my best to give you space and understand your needs, but I have needs too. I need to jump into my backyard with a foot of snow, I need to wear my wool coat, I need to have to wear gloves to go get the mail, I need to bitch and moan about frost on the windshield. I’ve been patient with you all year, and I’m hoping that our relationship is important enough to you that you’ll start acting normal again and bring things back to the way they were. Because you really are my bestest state.
– Thinking of you