Wondrous news! I have officially been accepted into the world of the adults. I even have official looking documents to prove it. What do these documents say, you ask?
They tell of how many mph I was over the speed limit.
That’s right, I have driven my way into the adult world of speeding tickets.
For the first time in my life.
Twice this week.
Many people assumed I would be angry or bitter or shocked at the new additions to my “record”, but I actually accept them like I would accept a removed cousin with a birth deformity. Anyone will attest to the… recklessness of my driving style both on and off the highway. I don’t mean reckless as in “have no idea what’s going on outside my car” reckless, but more of the “I know exactly where the other cars are around me and therefore I speed around them” type. And oh do I speed. This latest ticket catches me going 15mph above the speed limit, which is actually a pretty good day for me. I’m not an aggressive driver. I don’t tail people, I don’t slam on my breaks, I don’t swerve in and out of lanes every chance, hell I don’t even have any road rage. Ever. I just like getting places, faster.
One of the tickets was from a picture taken by a camera mounted van in the middle of the night, so no point deductions and a minor fee. The other was just this morning, as I was pulled over for the first time ever by a young police officer (whose name I unfortunately forgot to ask for). We made small talk, I gave him my ID, he listened to the electronic music in my car, and he kindly reminded me that the speed limit signs are there for a reason. All in all, a pleasant conversation, except for the fact that it ended in me receiving said ticket. He politely told me that he was indeed there to catch people who were speeding, and noted that I was indeed speeding. To this I had no argument, so I simply smiled and nodded.
Rather than be embittered by this recent phenomenon, I am only mildly surprised that I have gone this long without getting a speeding ticket. I’ve never even been pulled over until this morning, and it was the quite the surreal experience. I must note however that the only reason I received this speeding ticket is because the officer was riding a motorcycle. In all my years of driving I have become very adept at “scoping out cops”, and this skill has kept me off their radar for years, until now. Because of some motorcycle. Apparently I need to update my mental radar to keep an eye out for biker cops, along with the mounted cameras and police car dummies and under cover vehicles. How in the world are we supposed to drive in these conditions?