Down with the cows

05 Oct

Meat. Glorious meat. While I give my kudos and hurrahs to the vegetarians of the world for their healthy and idealistic lifestyles (even if they do tend to rub it in our omnivorous faces…) I must give a shout out to our animal friends as well. Without their daily sacrifice, life as we know it would be a little blander and happy meals would no longer be happy. Yes, it is our four legged and feathered friends that add that extra oomph to our lives in the developed nations, and the extra few inches to our waists. But do you know what else they do?

They are destroying the world as we know it.

In accordance to the environmentally friendly fashions of today, we as a society are becoming more aware of our “carbon footprint” and the evils of industrialization. Never in our history have we seen so much justified finger wagging at the auto and oil industries, blaming them with our righteous fury of greenhouse gases and global warming. “What of the polar bears?” we cry. Our children may never see a polar bear again. Oh, would someone please think of the children?!

Recently we have heard news of higher required mileage in our vehicles, something along the lines of 60 mpg for 2017 models. Great, stick it to the man, show those car companies who’s boss. Historically speaking, the auto industry, and pretty much any other industry, have shown great success in keeping up with our expectations of them. At least the legal ones. And this new restriction, if it passes, will no doubt bring forth a new generation of enviro-friendlier automobiles. This is of course assuming that consumer pressures won’t be strong enough by that time to enforce it.

But what we fail to realize, or more likely, turn a blind eye on, is the fact that it is livestock that is most to blame for global greenhouse gas emissions. The UN Food and Agriculture Organization, along with a number of other groups, have found that livestock are producing a ridiculous amount of greenhouse gases that surpasses those of vehicular output.  Not even taking into consideration the vast amounts of water and land and the near half of our global agriculture that go into raising these disease stricken, cholesterol laden animals, their effect on our global temperatures alone should be something of a red flag to the developed and international community. It’s a well known fact that the wealthier a country is, the more likely they are to consume higher amounts of meat. Vegetarians rejoice, for you have one more statistic to add to your arsenal of moral superiority. More meat = more animals, more animals = more methane emissions (23x worse than C02), more emissions = very very bad.

Ol’ Bessy is out to get us all, one well executed fart at a time.

Just look at the hideous little monster.... it reeks of devil-spawn


Posted by on October 5, 2010 in Uncategorized


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3 responses to “Down with the cows

  1. Kelsey

    October 5, 2010 at 22:19

    hahahahah, that poor innocent little fawn has no idea the caption you have bequeathed it

    • Kelsey

      October 5, 2010 at 22:28

      calf. I meant calf.

  2. Jun Kurayami

    October 5, 2010 at 23:13

    bah haha, devil spawn….


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